.Jen.

Why did you contribute to this project?
For fun and to be a part/contribute I guess

I can't say that I ever went through the process of denial like many before me seemed to do...
I've always been comfortable with the fact that I'm homosexual; I never had a reason to doubt it or feel embarassed
though some may say that's because I've always been so optimistic.
But it always felt natural.
It was who I was, who I still am.
But I never felt the need to let everyone in on it, why?
In truth, it's because I felt they had no reason to know about it.
As much as I've been optimistic I've been just as much secretive about my relationships-no one besides a select few ever knew about them although recently that number's slightly increased.
My parents don't even know.
I never felt it was necessary since they never knew about my relationships anyways.
How would I explain that fear...
Positive uncertainty.
I'm optimistic enough they'll eventually accept me for who I am, but uncertain and fearing they'll be dissatisfied with it.
I guess even now I still use the excuse that it isn't necessary for them to know.
After all, my lovelife doesn't and never will concern the whole world.
So I've always "pick and chose" who I'd tell. All my important, close friends knew:
My male and female best friend, another good male friend of mine, several other close friends... those who I knew would have no reserves about accepting me as homosexual.
But then again...
What's a label, anyways?
Homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, metrosexual, transgendered, transexual, heterosexual, african american, caucasian, mexican and Japanese
We're people.
We have different opinions, thoughts, features, talents, and preferences both sexual and non...
We take what we can get and give what we can receive.
If being different makes one an abomination, then it's society who needs to mature a bit. What good is a world where everyone's the same?
My name is Jen. I'm a 20 year old female with her whole life ahead of her; filled with dreams, aspirations, disappointments and heartaches. I've felt love, I've felt lost, I've felt fulfillment and an empty heart. I am a small child who cocoons herself within an empty shell that society has cast aside.
If I want love in the body of another female, then so be it. What is a body anyways?
Aren't we merely souls hosting within the shell of a body until we're set free upon death?
What does a body do, anyways? Doesn't it merely aide in the physical connection between two people that the mental, metaphysical aspect of the soul can't reach?
When one dies, why do we mourn? We mourn for the memories that are, yes, obviously held together by the physical cast of the soul, but most of all we mourn for the feelings that person gave us when they were alive. Happiness, sadness, love, anger...
When we feel pain it's brought through sensors in the skin through nerves inside our body to our brain. When we feel heartache it registers in the brain and we feel it in our heart; strangely enough the very object that keeps us alive by pumping our oxygen and blood.
If we can't even figure out why our heart feels heartache when it is our brain that registers all emotions, how can anyone possibly dare say they know love is only true when it's between a male and female?
Our gender is comprised in only our bodies alone. We react to our gender based on the social norms of our society and what we're taught as children, our soul has no gender. It feels emotions, and connects with other souls-not bodies; but because we cannot see another's soul, as humans, we resort to that soul's body.
I don't want to be called a lesbian, even though in today's society that's what I am. We as humans seem to use labels to identify foreign objects and emotions because hosting in these bodies we cannot deal with them any other way.
If calling me and others a gay homosexual or lesbian homosexual pleases you, feel free; but I'm simply a soul, with a heart, that's open to connect with other souls around me-regardless of their gender.