.niceole silkton.

Why did you contribute to this project?
Well, I think as many people as possible need to understand what it is like to be queer and trying to figure out what that means in this society where, for many, it is the worst possible thing. I also think it's important for people to know that you can be queer and have a religious faith, despite what many 'religious' folk claim. It's important for those 'religious' folk, as well as for people who identify as queer. Many people who fall into the LGBT umbrella don't realize that faith is still an option for them. Basically, the more contact people have with 'others' the more tolerance and acceptance we will be able to enjoy.

Comments:

The first was written in the midst of my sexual identity turmoil. I was a Christian. I had romantic feelings for woman. What was I to do? I felt lost and out of control.

The second was written shortly after accepting who I am. I came to this acceptance while working at camp, away from the reality of life in many ways. It was just what I needed to realize who I am. It is a recounting of the whole process.

Poem 1 - Untitled

pattering rain
pen on page
no other sounds
quiet house
inside - a storm rages
calm - shattered by the storm
what's going on
i'm at a loss
raging river of me
divides in two
one toward God
the other my direction
struggle for air
a tree branch
a passing raft going to God
i grab on
another rapid
again i'm lost in the raging river
i'm drowning
can't breathe
don't know which way is up
help me i scream
it's lost in the rush
on one hears
i'm all alone
drowning in the river of me

Poem 2 - Island

Lost little girl
Trying to find herself
Searching everywhere
She's trying to fit in
Making friends and feeling comfortable
But, that's not who she really is
Who is she?
Not a clue
She goes through the motions
Her mind rages on
Thought swim about
She's lost in the river of herself
An island - a refuge - appears
Rest and relaxation
Time to be her
Serious and crazy
Learning and growing
Finding her way
The image of herself becomes clear
The mental rapids die down
She's found herself on the island
The river poses no more threats
She knows who she is